I thought he said, "Corn," damnit!

I have had a lot of time to muse lately, with not having any work to do at work, (that is a subject for another post), and I started thinking about the time one of my son's friends was facing eminent posting to Iraq. Knowing the young man for a long time, I asked him what, if anything, I should send to him once he was posted. Now, remembering that there had been a lot of wine and beer consumed by the lot along with a pretty extensive dinner, I thought I heard him say, "If you send my anything, send me corn." Okay, I said a walked away.

The look on my son's face showed his surprised and incredulity. Will you really? he asked. Of course, I said. He's going overseas. I don't know why he wants it, but I will send as much as he wants. My son shook his head, walked away and then turned. How are you going to get it? I'll go to the store and buy a case and ship it that way, I said.

Why a case, my son asked. It will ship better that way. Okay he said.

The next morning at breakfast I told my husband to make a post-it note to remind me to buy corn for my son's friend. Why corn my husband asked. It's what he wants me to send to him. Sitting at the table, my son spit out his breakfast and started laughing. Mom, he said, he said he wanted you to send him PORN!

Oh, I said, he will just have to use his imagination.

Oh Crap -- There Goes the Bathroom

Maybe the title is redundant. Well, it finally happened. After 27 years, the shower in our bathroom started leaking--about 6 months before we planned our all out reconnaissance and assault on the bathroom. After considerable discussion (code word for bitching), hubby took the old sledge to the walls, and presto, freaking dust all over the house again!

I was hoping to hold out and win HGTV's ugliest bathroom contest, but I have seen others that would win hands down. My title was, "Help, my bathroom's caught in the eighties!" Guess it wasn't catchy enough.

The interesting part of the demolition is that the foundation for the huge Roman tub that has been housing all the paper products that Costco has to offer, showed no sign of "The Rot". Even the shower that leaked must have just sprung the leak. Now the fun starts in wrangling and cajoling about tile, tub, counter tops, windows, paint colors, shower panels. I have an idea what I would like to have, now it's just a matter of designing for the sexes. (Meaning--I do NOT want a shower that looks like a car wash.)

It's so much fun, I think if we survive this one we are good to reach our 50th!

Approaching the Solstice

So far, Spring took it's damn sweet time sprunging, but it meant for a good opportunity for moving plants around the garden, letting the Nasty Urshums get out of control, and watching the Red Tail hawk pick off a squirrel or two (bon voyage peanut rodents). It will be a bounty year for citrus, and the English roses are so pretty they make my heart ache.

I had time to re-string my favorite wind chimes, so the recent winds have reminded me that sitting a spell to do something I want to do is not frivolous. I have been tracking the length of the days like a jealous lover. At least, as the days get shorter, the light will come off the fore end, and I will still be able to play outside until dark.

The solstice will be the second part of the year, and I know that the ebbing of the sun will give lots more opportunity for family and friend time.

A time honored tradition in the South is to make a Spring change out of curtains and pillows--something that I have wanted to do for years, but never had time; but this Springs slow start gave me the chance to sew, sew, sew--valances and pillows, bun warmers and bags, little girl frocks, and jammies.

The jam is made--strawberry, apricot-- just waiting for the blackberries, and that's done too. So much that my friends are exchanging jars and lining up like it's a fire sale at Bon Marche. Joyeux Printemps!

People Watching and Musings

So many thoughts so little time:

Like the girl in the George Clooney (Up in the AIR), are most young girls marrying out of desperation and because they think "he'll work"? Seems like it.

When does a former spouse become a "friend"? Is it a case of disassociation or pure denial?

Do all the people currently basing public pensions understand what the term "dog pile" means?

Can snappishness and selfishness be seen under black light? If so, each young man should carry one and wave it like a cross? It would save a lot of heartache.

During the demonizing of religion, are people aware of their own sanctimonious behavior toward their own pursuits and needs?

What caused the young squirrel to fall out of the tree and crash on the stone wall?

How many peonies this year and how many apricots?

If the gov takes 10%+ how many leave and how fast? Book your appointment NOW!

How long is too long to wait for having children. Babies at 40? Makes me tired.

If I finish my new mohair scarf, will it still be chilly enough in the morning to wear?

What's the best age for a facelift? What's this "growing into it" crap?

Do hypocondriacs have more fun or just more drugs? Maybe one induces the other--without guilt!

To Newport and Beyond

It has been a busy month. I spent two weeks of trying out retirement, just to see if the effects of winter and early spring weather could be minimized with an infusion of sunshine and golf. My Dog, I think I can do this. It was great to slip away and let the garden and house take care of itself on auto-pilot and return to a color burst of tulips, daffs, amaryllis, lavender, and Ranunculus. The roses are going crazy and blooms should be here withing two weeks.

Easter was a riot. When I told a co-worker that I had overdosed on peeps. She asked me how many came for dinner. Oh, Peeps! What a difference a generation can make. Everyone ate the heads off the bunny cookies with the weird blue eyes; and the four small ones scrambling for plastic eggs just before the cloudburst reminded me of days long gone by when the whole neighborhood hunted (haunted) the greenbelt for surprises. After seeing a local tele stations Egg-Cam, I now have a different perspective!

The introduction of new relationships this year made me realize that the year, although filled with emotional chaos, has been for the best. For the first time, I had people hop in to help without being asked, and received unsolicited affection from people I barely knew.

The dinner (unorthodox at least) made everyone happy (2-86) and even Mimi said that she thought things were working out for the best. As usual, I told her that it wasn't mine to say or determine, and that things can change in a blink of an eye.

Anyway, Papa found that a two year old can be very wise and that eating earlier in the day allows a lot of time for evening snacks.

Now, this is cool. It must be the Full Moon

With the arrival of what has been our brightest moon of the year, so has the Sun! Yesterday, I started the big dig for the roses and think that I will either need to procure help from the family or take out my handy mattock (which scares the begeeus out of the men folk), and attack the area my self.

The house and garden are starting to look like I am preparing for a siege. Eight huge bags of potting soil, bags of chicken manure, boxes of summer bulbs, solar light, and zip lock packages of seeds, make it appear that I am ready when the klaxon goes off. Am I ever! The bulbs go into pots this morning and the seeds will have to wait a week. Last year, the greatest success I had with beans was when I put a bag of soil in the wheelbarrow and dumped in a package of seeds!

Trucking down the stairs on my way to V-8 and tea, I came eyeball to eyeball with last years visitors. The Sun must be enticing everyone, even the Duh are back; and they look like they are from one of last year's broods. They are both really moving on collecting sticks and building a nest; and if this is for real, we should have little Duh babies March.

Can I call them Grandduh?

Oh, Meyer!

A dear friend of mine called on his last day of really working (or so he says). "My crazy neighbor picked all her lemons. I have a huge bag and I will meet you on the mall at 11:00." It sounded like a drug transaction, but my tree was too busy growing this year to give me the abundance of Meyers that I am used to, so I met him as arranged.

We popped into Ambrosia for a quick cuppa before he raced off to catch is bus back home and discussed the general state of confusion at our (now my) collective work places. I told him that I would have something wonderful for him next week, maybe lemon pasta or candied lemon peel, or maybe just a lovely lemon cake soaked in lemoncello.

He fled for the bus and I toted my bag home on the train. "I like your perfume", the man who sat next to me said. I smiled. Why buy Michael Kors when you can smell like an orchard?

It Must Be ESP

Today the cryptic email came: UPS Quantum View was sending me something. What could it be? Some golf toy or handyman tool? NO! Lady Emma and company should be arriving soon, courtesy of David Austin. Leaving the station today and expected to arrive on the 28th! Total excitement..............

Heart Palpitations and Falling In Love

Returning from Sam's Club yesterday, I confronted and confessed to my husband that I fell in love and almost swooned at what I saw. "How bad was it?", he inquired. "Awful", I responded. "I am so sorry. I have no self control."

"Do you think that it will happen again? Are you strong enough to fight off the urge. This has happened before, and last time you said that you would try to fight the urge!" he exclaimed.

"I know. I can't help it. It was the opportunity and the situation that just got to me." I countered. "It was raining and gloomy out, and it made me smile and gave me some hope!" I almost sobbed (trying to emphasize my despair).

Realizing that he was being too hard on me, he followed me out to the truck. "Tell me about it. I need to know. We can talk about it."

I pulled open the doors to the extend cab. "Right there!" I said, "Peonies, and Spectabilis, and Caladium. I just couldn't fight the urge. I am not strong. I can't take it. Just look at them. All I have to do is wait for enough of a winter respite and I can start them in the greenhouse. I had to bring them home."

My husband patted my shoulder. "It's okay," he said. I guess that I can take you straying this time." I am forgiving once again. He forgave me last week, too, for the eight bags of potting soil.

He doesn't know that within three weeks, five English bare root roses should be sitting on our front door steps, like orphan children, waiting to take over the vacant area behind the pool. He won't even see it coming........Maybe if I can beat him home after work......................

Accomplishments & Additions

Gosh, it seems that it is time for me to celebrate the changes. My Little tweeter who came so far last year has flown the coop. This week will start with a whole new team to mentor and teach. I believe that people manage as they parent, so the day will start with taking the new brood off to a professional meeting so, they too, can walk, talk, and look like ducks. Within the year, I will expect that all of them will be thinking that they are ducks!

As a side note, we have two new proxy grandchildren - girl and boy. I have been busy and delighted in doubling the amusement that our first two have given. It seems that although the shake-ups in relationship can wreak temporary havoc, happiness breeds contentment, dialog, and activity. My dog, those once quite people sure have lots to laugh and talk about. All the texting is filling up my phone! Happy people don't seem to hit the sauce so much, either, so I am happy that it appears that what was once perceived to be a problem by some, is no more. It is also fascinating to find that the only sauce issues are owned by the perceivers. Give the bartender another drink! As one would say, "Own it, it's YOURS!"

New Years

Wow! I forgot to post about the great New Years. We celebrated with Chinese (food, not friends), a chick flick, and sparkles. In bed by 10:30. Looks like friends and family took the sane way out this year. Those that we love have new reasons to celebrate safe and sane; so, I could assuage my fears and worries. Looks like the lampshades will have to wait another year to add adornment to another fools.
Hopefully this new year will mean that those who should be loved and cherished will be; and those that are not will understand why. (I hope we will know the difference with their limping!)

New Year's Progress

So far, we are but three days in to the year and things are looking up. I have as many hopes for this year as a mare has for her frolicking colt. Maybe this year:

I will be able to break radio silence and muse about all the craziness that happened last year;
Kiss salaried labor behind and start another phase of my life;
Watch both my sons become happier in whatever they choose to do with whomever they choose to experience it with (sorry about the preposition);
Pick tons of English roses that perfume the whole house and gladden my heart;
Spend hours of time with my grandsons and more time on the golf course (hopefully blending the two);
Sew little girl dresses;
Continue with my quest for better health and mind;
Laugh till I hurt; and
Spend time with those who love me as much as I love them.

As of now, I will keep plugging away--as I tell my staff: one step at a time; one foot in front of the other. I will know for sure that the fog is leaving just about the time that this year's special order roses come--(more of Lady Emma Hamilton to intoxicate the senses). I will start the summer curtains as an optimist, and will weekly plump up the chintz pillows just in case spring tries to get the jump on me!